shiny and new

The other day, i rushed over to "peace" my hot spot in Laguna off the cliffs, to pray and regain my sanity. I sat and watched the waves do their thing, going back and forth with force, crashing loudly, sometimes effortlessly giving themselves to the power of the tide and then calmly rest on the shore. I started to think of this phenomenal power that is my heart. It beats with passion, it breaks and then it heals. I remember the day when i gave up, and i stopped being a wave out at sea. I remember the room I was in when i fell in love with my keeper. I remember the days and nights i spent crying and praying, pleading for God to heal my heart and put me back together. I clearly remember what i was wearing one night in worship as I sang I belong to you...and you belong to me. I was there and He was there and even though there was an entire sea of people around me, it was just me and Him dancing to and fro and He healed me.

You are going to have to excuse me. I am in a mood. A very Honest. Blatant. Irritated mood. It stems from relationships. Not all irritation is bad.

Irritation is a sign of friction. Friction creates fire. Fire is a sign of passion. To be passionate about something you have to get irritated first.

So allow me to be irritated at this subject. I have watched people bypass God and turn their hearts over to sin, to bad relationships, to complacency. I have watched the broken hearted become destroyed. The sick become sicker and the dying, die. It irritates me. I want to shake them, lock them in a room and force them to meet with God. I say this only because ive been there. Debilitated. Weak.Confused. Making decisions with the world as my compass and my flesh as my guide. If you listen to me about anything ever, you will hear me say this to you over and over and over again like a broken record.

"Everything you do reflects back to your relationship with God"...

Your relationship with God is the only stable source of love and peace. You must rely on your heart to be the source of His words, His love, His direction. Without a whole heart He could not be in you.He wouldnt fit. He is bigger than you.If you want all of Him to fit, you need to make room.

"Now then..., "throw away the foreign gods that are among you and yield your hearts to the LORD, the God of Israel." Joshua 24:23

Make room in your life with the things of Him and about Him. Remove those things that make you miss the things of the Lord. I look at people in my life, how they are like waves tossed to and fro. Giving their hearts to people and things at the sight of security, at the glimpse of intimacy, at the hope of stability. Such risk such passion such irresponsibility... I mean this is your heart! This is the vessle that God moves through. This is the place that He dwells! And yet they want to see the things of the Lord!

You will receive the things from whoever you give your heart to.

"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."Luke 6:45
If drugs have your heart, you will receive what drugs can only give you. If a man or a woman has your heart entirely, you will only receive the things flesh can only give you. But if the spirit has your heart. If God has your heart, you will receive what God can only give you. You choose.

As I sat watching the waves I began to feel the aprehension i have felt each time someone comes into my life and asks for my heart. I began to feel myself clutch my chest as if i were clutching valuable treasure.

He is the keeper of your heart. The gatekeeper. No one can have it without going through Him first.

I picked up a stone off the beach that day. It was shiny and smooth. Unblemished yet obvious it had been through storms. Those waves they produce newness, they give a new identity. See this is not condemnation or pride.Ive been there.Years of being a wave tossed back and forth. The result has been my new heart, shiny and new. Treasured. Captivated. Clutched... In this irritated state, i urge you. Give up. Give in. Get iritated. Let God take you and make you shiny and new. I promise its better on this side. I promise He will come through with all your looking for in a person and in life, I promise He will come through with all you want to be. He wants you to be shiny an new, make room,what's keeping you?

HONK! GO!

At my friends old house in the hills, there is this automatic gate, that is really weird, it knows from yards away a car is coming, and begins to open before you really get too close to it. By the time you reach the gate, you barely have to stop and usually you can roll on through. The coolest part about it, to avoid accidents, there is a checkpoint at the top of the hill that signals the gate and places a red light to oncoming traffic. This however only happens as long as the car continues to move, along the road, its downhill with no stop signs... once the checkpoint is crossed the gate begins to open and the green light is triggered...if the car stops along the road the gate puts a red light up and closes the gate!

My instinct is to stop even at the green light to make sure i wasnt going to get hit... and cars behind me have honked probably thinking "you idiot its open green means GO"...like i have done many times behind someone else...why do i do that if i know the green light means go and its safe,the gate is wide open? Is it my mistrust or doubt? Last week I stopped. I stopped believing and trusting in the destination and purpose of my faith in some areas and have been waiting in caution...

I heard an audible car horn this morning in my head as I read my devotion....

"when you walk your steps will not be hampered, when you run you will not stumble"Prov 4:12 "We walk by faith, not by sight" 2Cor 5:7

HONK!

God is not going to open the gate for me if i am not sure of Him. He doesnt like to be untrusted, just like you or I dont like the feeling of being mistrusted...If He says Go He means Go...it doesnt matter if it was yesterday, a month a go or 10 years ago...the light has been green this whole time! God has been calling me nearer to Him since i invited His son in my heart. Its been a never ending-eternal road with a wide open gate. Sure, there are times where God closes a door and I have to take heed and wait, but the gate to His ways and purpose is always open, He never said stop coming to me when it looks scary.He never said stop driving towards me. He never said take a break till it gets easier...He said walk by faith and not by sight, and as you walk you will not be hindered, and you will not stumble.

Faith doesn't need to stop at a green light.

Faith continues moving in darkness knowing the light is green!

This is may be redundant. And it may mirror a prior post. but how many times will it take me to learn a relearn God and His ways? point is....im still umcomfortable. and thats okay. im still struggling. and thats ok. I just cant stop. He honked at me and said GO...or else He will close the gates to my calling, to my opportunities, to my lessons, to my character building.He has every right to if i dont trust what He already said. He has every reason to HONK!

He is saying to me...meesh, ive already made the way and opened the gate...stop freaking out and GO, what you are going through is just what you need to get where you are going TO. Keep comin.

sigh. Okay God...pedal to the metal....here i go.