because you lived....

Its been like 4 months since ive blogged...its been a long time of up in the air thoughts, nothing concrete in my head...a lot of questions...but 2 days before 2010 i received a note from a coworker that made think and rethink my attitude about 2010...

What is Success?

To Laugh often and much?
To win the respect of intelligent people and affection of children?
To appreciate Beauty? To find the best in others?
To leave the world a bit better, by raising healthy child or redeem a social condition?
(and my favorite...)

To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

I would love to live my life this way... One that determines a good life for someone else above mine. Wouldnt that be amazing, if my attitude each day was who cares about me...what about you?...Honestly...if 2009 taught me anything is that i dont say that enough...i mean I say it...but so many other times i ask i did this for you now what am i gonna get? But im tired of beating myself up for it...i have to live...and living means being selfish sometimes...so that the selfishness can rise to the top of the surface so that it can be removed...layer by layer, person by person...each person that you expose your selfishness to is in lack of something you could have given....

let that simmer in the next few days before the new year...i am not saying I am the most selfless person in the world...if that were true i wouldn't have the closet i have....dont judge me hahah!..but accept the thought of those who lack and those who dont lack...and lets bridge the gap....take the leap in 2010 and commit to something. A cause, an organization, an attitude....I realized, i cant take my pretty stuff with me...it wont fit in with the splendor of heaven...and that is where im headed...so if i can give to those who arent headed there a gift of breathing easier so that they can be in the clear state of mind to decide to follow the one to heaven....then thats all i want to do....and i dont just mean in the pulpit of a church, i mean in the pulpit of your computer, your car, your fav starbucks...DISCIPLE. GIVE. and reproduce your life for another....

So help me say "cheers 2009". you have taught me well. Each tear has pushed me further towards my dream. Each smile pushed me further towards success...because i've lived.